I have a bad habit when I drink. I invite guests. This wouldn’t be an issue, except that people take me up on my invitations when I’m sober. While we were doing silly dances on the club floor, yes, I invited you to spend New Year’s Eve with us. I even offered to let you stay at our place. Was I sincere? Probably not. Actually, no, I didn’t mean it. Had you asked me while I was tipsy if I meant it, I would have been frank. Sadly, my sober persona can’t seem to speak the truth. Rather I pay the consequences. The New Year’s Eve guest not only spent the night but the night of New Year’s Day as well. I believe the only reason this guest left was do to the awkwardness of the increasingly hushed conspiratorial tones Superman and I took while discussing how to rid ourselves of this person.

I’m not sure what compels me to be so hospitable. While sober I certainly say things like, “You should come over” or “Let’s get together.” But, I mean them as half-heartedly as the next person. If I really want you to come to my place, the invitation will be extended – repeatedly and soberly. Perhaps I should make up cards to hand out when tippling, “Did I invite you while I was under the influence of alcohol? Believe me, it was just the drink talking, not me.”