I am not a prude. I do enjoy a little organization in life, like the good old days when there was a difference between mainstream entertainment and soft porn. Now female actresses seem to be required to bare all onscreen, no matter how trivial the role, how unrelated nudity is to the plot or whether it’s TV or film.

Tonight I saw Flight. Spoiler alert: Flight opens with a naked woman rising from a bed where a flabby Denzel Washington lies discretely covered. She walks towards the camera exhibiting full frontal nudity. Does it forward the plot line? No. Does it have anything to do with the plot? Barely. In the end, Mr. Washington’s character has enough integrity not to slander a dead woman, but the director has no respect for her acting career. Yeah, that full frontal shot is really gonna get her noticed when award season rolls around.

At the recommendation of friends, I recently watched the first two seasons of Shameless. the breasts of every female character on the show have been revealed except for Joan Cusack, who is famous enough not to have to bare it all, the 15-year-old who is a minor character and plays a strict religious cult figure, and the 11-year-old actress, who as she ages on the show, I am sure we’ll see hers, too. Granted, we have, unfortunately, seen a few, mostly unwelcome, quick glimpses of male full frontal nudity on this show. But it still makes me ponder what genius really feels any of this enhances my viewing experience.

As women we could rise above this, boycott, write letters, start petitions, but it will do no good. Men love boobies. Some women do, too. So, I say, embrace it. Let’s reward our actresses for their endowments. Every award show should have its gimmick. At the Academy Awards breast appeal will have to be taken into account for Best Actress consideration. (Sorry Meryl, no more awards for you.) To boost the flagging viewership of the Oscars, the Best Unaugmented Actress and Best Enhanced Actress could mud wrestle to see who gets to go home with the Oscar.

Make the People’s Choice a true people’s choice. All the female nominees throughout the evening grace the stage topless while America texts or calls to vote for the Best Hooters. Ryan Seacrest could host it and Hooters could sponsor the show. Fashion designers will jump at the opportunity to create outfits versatile enough to go from the red carpet to barely on the stage.

The Emmys could add a new subcategory: the Rack Emmy Awards. They could highlight the work of some lesser know actresses by showing clips of “Best Gratuitous Sex Scene in a Comedy,” “Best Naked Dead Victim in a Drama,” or “Best Innocent Reference to Breasts in a Children’s Show.”

The list could go on and so could I. Let’s just say, I am looking forward to consulting on this idea. My mother would be so proud to see that I found my calling in the exploitation of women.